Holiday Stressors: What You Can Do to Calm & Control a Chaotic Season
The holiday season is often a time of mixed messages. The pre-celebratory stress usually blends into goodwill and joy. Still, just as easily, a contented smile can transform into a grimace of frustration.
For people with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), the holidays are often a time of too many messages for too long a period. There are dates to remember, gift lists to deal with, work events, family obligations, and the general pressure to get everything “ just right.”
With so much to see, do, and experience, someone with ADHD may be tempted to sample everything holiday-related at the same time. Overwhelm can result in a big way.
What to do?
Simply put, your unique brain requires forward-thinking and planning. To navigate this time of year successfully, you'll need to move through the holidays your way. With support and helpful strategies, you’ll worry less about squeezing things in or feeling out of control. Then, you can make the most of the season's grace and goodwill.
Some of the Many Holidays Stressors For People with ADHD
So Much To Do/So Little Time
This issue is no fun for anyone. When ADHD is involved, it ramps up a perfect storm of distraction and irritability.
Perfectionism
With a long shopping list, you can’t afford to dwell on or fixate on each item. ADHD can obscure your ability to prioritize.
Last-Minute Surprises
You’re doing your best to stay on point and boom! A curveball gets tossed your way. Now what?
5 Things You Can Do to Calm & Control a Chaotic Holiday Season
1. Keep a Journal
You will definitely need to keep a list… and check it more than twice. Buy a nice, sturdy journal in addition to a planner and/ or calendar. Tracking emotions and triggers is as important as scheduling shopping trips and activities.
2. Streamline in Advance
Chaos is often the result of trying to do too much in too little time. Let’s face it, some things will fall inevitably through the proverbial cracks. Carefully choose which non-holiday responsibilities can be safely put off until January. Then utilize phone apps and other electronic tools to create a trustworthy time-management system. This will give you extra time and space to deal with those last-minute surprises that could upend your plans and peace of mind.
3. Lower Your Standards
This is nowhere near as bad as it first sounds. Keeping your expectations realistic helps combat creeping perfectionism that can ruin the holiday spirit. There are some excellent one-size-fits-all gift options available. Give out gift coupons for a home-cooked meal or offer any kind of lesson you can. Gift certificates to local restaurants, stores, or activities are wonderful choices that do not require long-term rumination or planning. Sometimes, taking the “easy way out” is the ideal decision. Manageable expectations and execution reduce the tendency to martyr yourself or fixate on minutia. This keeps feelings and relationships authentic and positive.
4. Prioritize Yourself, Too
Practice saying no. Declining early, honestly, and firmly is a good way to set boundaries. Do your best to keep self-compassion in the front of your mind. You can’t attend every event — in-person or virtually — so embrace this reality as an avenue toward self-care. ADHD tends to upset and dysregulate your thinking. Take time to intentionally breathe and settle yourself. Make balance your goal. In a season of giving, do not neglect your own needs. The more you prioritize yourself, the more energy you’ll have to offer others.
5. Ask For Help
Assess your to-do list, not as something aspirational but as something grounded in reality. Identify what you can and cannot accomplish. It's okay to delegate or delete the rest.
Let others know you’re struggling. Ask them to honor your needs, your routines, and your boundaries. When it comes to holiday help, there actually may be no better choice than reaching out to trusted loved ones and a counselor (see below).
You Are Not Alone
The symptoms of ADHD can make any situation felt like a crisis. It really, really helps to have someone to help guide you through those moments — especially with the holidays in full swing. Your weekly therapy sessions will help you identify and eliminate the counterproductive behaviors that impact your daily life. From there, you will work to cultivate positive approaches you can lean on in times of stress.
I can help you better understand what happens when ADHD impacts you and how to manage it best. There are many positive options available to you, why not get in touch today? Read more about our ADHD treatment. Then, a consultation can get you started on a healing path for the holiday season and beyond. If you are ready to get some help with this, press the contact me button below and I would be happy to chat with you about making an appointment.